It gives me great pleasure to welcome you to my blog. I hope you find it as interesting and thought provoking as I hope it would be. All thoughts and opinions shared are my own and do not intend to preach or teach or whatever but to merely share with you, the world my passion for life and everything in it. Peace and love to all.

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Beyond these tears I see a future...

Two days time people around the world will be celebrating 'valentines day' which has inspired me to write the following, but before I get into it I would like to say a few things.  For those who are celebrating Valentines day and those who aren't I want to make a simple plea, take a moment and remember those who have lost everything they have ever loved, leaving them with nothing. Take a moment and see how lucky you are compared to all those people in war torn states. Everything you have in your life is a blessing and you must always be thankful, whether you are religious or not. Every morning you wake up is a blessing. 

Please do not forget 

New Entry of the day: 

Not to sound too cliché but I have a dream.

 I have a dream where I can go back to my homeland with no fear or anxieties. A dream that goes beyond you and I.
A dream where I have the chance to visit my grandparents birth place in peace.
A dream where I can comfortably say I am going back home and never coming back.
A dream where my movement is not determined by checkpoints and curfews.
A dream where I hold the passport of my country in one hand and the key to my grandfathers home in the other. A dream where I am holding this very key he forever held in his heart with the hope that one day he would return.  
A dream where I can fulfill HIS dream and not my own and return that key back into its rightful place of the house he built. .
A dream where I can enter my homeland as a free woman. A dream where I can walk the same streets my forefathers walked down. 
Walk down those orange fields and eat that fresh bread my father passionately spoke about. 

But I fear
I fear that I will never get the chance to smell those orange trees and eat those lemons and taste the fresh olive oil from our olive fields, my father spoke to me about. I fear that even when I do get the chance of going back the image that has been created in my mind will not be the one in reality.
I fear that I will not be able to replicate the stories and happiness my father spoke about and will only return with stories of heart ache and sadness.
 I fear that one day, all these dreams will be shattered in a second and I will remain to be a stranger in my land. I will remain a refugee, an anomaly, an issue and not a solution.

But yet you may say this is nothing but a dream. Something far from reality. But I say my dreams are as real as my fears.
I have many dreams and I am a certain of one thing; that I will overcome these fears and fulfill them one day.

Whether it is now or later; that day will come and justice will prevail. 


Beyond these tears I see a future ...A brighter and happier future for my people. 

Sunday, 26 January 2014

Observations of a commuter...

Todays entry is going to be a little informal and totally different to what I usually write. So here goes nothing...

I'm your everyday train catching, early morning coffee drinking, not your morning person,  commuter. 

On a daily basis I take two different trains one overground another underground and when I do, I like to observe the people around me. A little weird but lets not lie we all do it. For the past month I have started to notice a trend in the types of people who catch these trains and to be honest I get a little excited every time I see something different or bizarre. This is only because, once upon time, I studied psychology and surprisingly I still remember most of it, so interpreting peoples actions and behavior has become one of the most fascinating things that I can possibly  do. Sad I know, but empathize with me, being a commuter as well as a student has had its toll on many of us, not just myself.

There is no other way to do this, so I am going to list my observations and pretend for a second I have some sort of professional training in trying to interpret them. 

First observation is the fact that everyone or most people, I do not want to over generalize or offend,  be it old or young naturally pick up the metro or the evening standard and either read it or pretend to read it. I personally don't read them, totally down to the fact that I don't consider them as newspapers worth reading but also they simply destroy my hands with the cheap ink they use. Times like this I wish my eyes could take photographs, when I stand there I see a row of  people reading the newspaper, totally oblivious to the fact that they all look the same. I mean isn't this just another example of how people without noticing, conform to the social norm. If one does it, the others naturally follow. Makes you think, have we just become clones of each other, like machines unaware of our surroundings. A little scary to think this is all happening and we're all getting sucked into it.

Second observation is that as I see them reading these papers I like to observe what and how they read certain articles. It was just the other day I was looking (not stalking for those who are getting a little worried) at a guy on the train , every time he got to a serious article such as a story about Syria he would quickly dismiss it and move onto the celebrity news. Its quite sad to see this happening as it was not just him who did it, many others like him. On the outset a man of his style and stature you would think he would be interested in politics in  general, but needless to say never judge a book by its cover. His suit and sleekness was simply a facade one must put on for ones job, so I could honestly say peoples true identity lies within them and I believe a person , to some extent, is defined by what they read and not the way they dress. You can dress so well but your personality can be so hideous that you deter almost everyone around you. or in another words not everyone's 'cup of tea'

Thirdly, you know how a person usually uses their phone to avoid eye contact or some sort of awkwardness with another human being, well seeing as there is no signal in the underground ..I feel most people use these newspapers to do just this. They don't read it to know what is going on around the world because, lets be honest, not all the news in these papers are particularly mind blowing so its quite simply an object in which is used to avoid other peoples (such as myselfs) lurking eyes. Funny to think of it though we're all been subject to this awkwardness and my gosh calling it awkward would be a serious understatement.

Although I said they use the newspaper as a strategy to avoid awkward moments, they do also use their phones not to call people but to play games!! Candy crush anyone? Best game to lose yourself in and probably miss your stop. I can't seem to pass level 25 , but I am somewhat retarded in all sorts of games be it board or computer games, I'm just not interested and quite simply a sore loser.

But in all seriousness you may be thinking where is this entry leading me to? Well to something a lot more serious and important and we must all take into account.

I know this entry is somewhat random but I do in fact have a reason for highlighting it. There is a more important and serious conclusion and moral that I would like to touch upon. What I'm trying to say here is that when you find yourself so busy and caught up with your life; stop for a moment and breathe. Do not get sucked into to the system where you totally lose your sense of self. Every human being is different, no, one person is the same as the other, so let your uniqueness shine in everything you do. Don't let anyone bring you down because those who do, clearly do not deserve you. They do not appreciate you for who you are. So the quicker you get rid of them the more confident you will be. Surround yourself with people who support you and believe in your endeavors and do the same for others.  You may follow a tiresome routine day in day out but don't let that deter you in following your dreams. Nothing worth having comes easy.

Always remember that you will always be the best version of yourself.  Don't get yourself down and don't let anyone get you down because they are mere obstacles on your way to success. Keep running and forget those who slow you down. That finishing line is closer than you think.

You got this! 

Saturday, 25 January 2014

`And We have created everything in pairs, that perhaps you may remember.' (Quran, 51:49)

As women we spend our whole life looking for that special someone and yet we fail to find them and end up getting hurt on the way. You know why? Read back the first sentence and if you see the problem; you are on the right track to a brighter and happier future.

But let me spell it out for you if you did not see it. You see the problem is that we’re always on the lookout, and not even just that, we’re always putting them up on this pedestal when they clearly do not belong there. We put these guys up against our own expectations and, let’s not lie to ourselves, these expectations are so sky high you can no longer see reality. I’m not saying you shouldn't have high expectations, quite the contrary, you should. But what I am saying is that a women must always be realistic. Don’t let your personal infatuations and fantasies cloud your judgement because you know it will not last beyond the honeymoon period.  The faster you come to grips with the fact that your knight in shining armor does not exist and is not going to sweep you off your feet and buy you that castle you are forever dreaming of where you will live happily ever after – the quicker you will find that perfect person you never knew you needed and wanted. Again you never know the person you end up with may be all that and obviously we all want a happy ending. There’s no wrong in wanting any of that, who doesn't? But again, being realistic never hurt anyone either.

We have to understand that this dream we hold so tightly to has been constructed by the very talented producers and cartoonists of Disney and let us not forget these characters are fictional and that is all they are. But this does not mean you lower your standards and settle for whatever comes your way because, and this is my personal opinion, I believe that there is someone somewhere waiting out there already programmed to love you and does not know it yet. Neither of you know when and how and why you will meet but one day you will and it will be beautiful.  When it happens deep down inside of you, you will know God planned it this way. God is after all the best of all planners.

But! And this is an extremely important But! This can only happen once you stop looking because God has already done it for you. He did the hard work for you long before you were born. You need not worry about when it will happen because it is already written down, and it will happen whether you know it now or later. It will happen at the right time for the both of you. Perseverance is key and that is why you must never rush what will perhaps will be the rest of your life. This subject cannot be taken lightly.

He has picked the perfect person for you who will treat you like you should and even better. God’s judgement is far better than your own or your families, when something is meant to be it is just meant to be. I know it sounds cliché and perhaps a bit like a Disney film but my faith in God gives me hope that He will guide me to the right person who will be a perfect match for me.

So it is about time we stop wasting the precious hours of our day by thinking about who we will marry, how will he look like and what job he will have. Stop looking for him because he will find you or you will find him when you least expect it. And when you do you will treasure every moment, of every hour, of everyday of every year you will have with them. Knowing that this person was especially made and chosen for you and for only you by our One and Only God, is something that should always put your mind and heart at ease.

Isnt it such a precious thought to know that God has your back in everything you do?  Just think about it, the feeling will be mutual because this one person would have been on the same boat as you for the years prior to meeting you. They would have gone through the same frustration of not knowing who they will end up with and perhaps been through the same disappointments but that needn't matter to either of you. Everything that we experience before reaching our goal is merely a test to our patience. And especially when it comes to marriage God continues to test us in so many different ways. He is testing us because He loves us and wants us to appreciate the gifts He generously continues to shower us with. So let go of all these worries and surrender to the will of God. Once you let go of these worldly desires and worries, God will bless you with so much more; something beyond your own imagination. And once you surrender you will be at peace. The happiness and love that you will feel when you meet that right person will be from God. He is the heart of your relationship, He is the one who will bring you together and He is the one who will separate you. He is the vital organ we all need and cannot live without. Something we must always remember. Without His blessings things cannot and will not run as smoothly as you hope. But when He brings you together you will be overwhelmed with a feeling you will both treasure and with the help of God it shall be maintained for the rest of your lives. As long as you appreciate and respect one and another and always thank God for bringing you together and for the life He blesses you with; He will guide you to a future you will forever be thankful for.   

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

A rant with a purpose...

I know it has been a while since I have written so I do sincerely apologize for this. I wrote this entry quite a while ago and have not had the chance the post it any earlier.  A lot has happened in the world of middle-eastern politics but I have just highlighted one issue that has somewhat aggravated me and continues to aggravate me. God help us all for what is to come.  

So here's the deal..

Today's entry is not your usual political, religious and cultural entry...  it is in fact all of those put into one to make a very long rant. So bear with me. I have been meaning to write about this particular topic for sometime now, but have never been able to articulate my anger and frustration, in an not so insulting way. But I think it has just got to a point now where it is possibly the most annoying thing that keeps occurring in almost all my news feeds, be it facebook, twitter or even instagram; it is always there! 

You probably can't and won't guess what I am on about, so I will not make you wait any longer. I am talking about how a certain brand of Arab has this weird fascination and obsession with designer labels and more specifically the ones in the UK. Even writing about it makes my body shudder. What is this great obsession with coming here and splashing out on things they probably and most likely won't need! Okay you may want them but there is a fine line between wants and needs and you most probably can live without that gucci or prada bag. Believe you me...the world will not end if you do not buy it.  And another thing the shops that are here are probably available back home and they could most probably still afford it. I mean, honestly, please feel free to have a vacation here but be a tourist, enjoy the history, the attractions and scenery around you. It's not like the Khaleej ( the gulf) has any type of NATURAL greenery in it; it is after all a desert! Not only this but there is one other thing that drives me nuts and that this there is always an assumption that all Arabs are the same. So let me make this clear to everyone, take it from a normal Arab, so are fairly credible source, we are most definitely not the same. So when you say we are the clients who walk into a shop and purchase ten of one thing, that does not mean we all do that. No. Just a certain type of Arab does that and they are a minority. So please do not over generalize, trust me it is more insulting than anything else.  

You may think that my sheer frustration is out of  jealousy but please (God no)  take that thought out of your mind, if that is the case. This is not the issue that I am trying to focus on, actually it is quite the opposite. On a daily basis I check the various social media websites I use and on a daily basis I see a reoccurring theme from certain people and that is them flashing their newly bought goodies; be it fancy clothes or foods , it is something clearly overpriced for no apparent reason. The point that I am trying to makeis that these people are wasting their money on petty things whilst the world around them suffers. And to be even more specific whilst their neighbours and neighbouring countries are dying of starvation and are suffering due to on going wars they are splashing out on things they will probably never use. With that money they could feed a family or even tens of families in refugee camps. Just think of the potential, think of the good their money can do for the suffering world. It pains me inside just to think that there are people like that who do not think twice, who do not think of the many children who are suffering everyday. Whilst their child complains and whines about a new playstation, another is crying for help and sometimes may even be begging for mercy of death to relieve them from the painful life they are living. Does that thought not tear you apart from inside? Does it not make you feel guilty every time you aimlessly purchase something you can clearly live without? If it does then there is hope..if not. Then God help us all. We truly live in a selfish world.

The thing that gets me the most is that they feel no guilt in spending so lavishly. Now why is that?! Why do they not feel guilty of spending so much money on such petty things when they can help their neighbours out. It just does not make sense in my head. 

When a Companion asked the Prophet (pbuh) what rights his neighbor had on him, he answered as follows:"If he gets ill, you should visit him; if he dies, you should bury him. If he asks some money from you, you should lend him. If he is in trouble, you should help him. If he suffers a misfortune, you should console him. Do not build the roof of your house higher than his so that you will not prevent the wind. If he knows what you have cooked, you should give some to him, too. “(Y.Kandahlawi, Hayatu`s-Sahaba, III, 1068).

The Prophet (PBUH) the very man that we must all look up to and follow, lived an incredibly modest life and he never complained, those words were never uttered out of his mouth. And yet his followers complain if they do not get the latest Iphone or playstation. Are we, and I include myself in this, embarrassed of ourselves?

But on a more serious note I do not just single out a specific type of people but also their governments , these nations leaders feed this corruption and evil on a daily basis. They do not, in anyway, set a good example for their people so I do not expect anything more or less from them. Look at Egypt , they poured billions of money into a government only after a ridiculous military coup was forged, that was in no way legitimate. I couldn't call it a government even if I wanted to, this very government or group of power hungry vultures that have simply destroyed, desecrated and spat on a democratic system have stolen any integrity the country ever had and with what...with the help of these Gulf states blood money. 

There are many verses from the Hadith's advising us to love and care for our neighbours yet we do not listen. We are so caught up in this dunya and everything that is within it to a point where we have forgotten our real purpose in life and that is to do anything and everything that pleases our Lord. Unfortunately with recent events in the Arab world and everywhere else I do not see people upholding this and it saddens me.

We are moving backwards not forwards. So don't tell me its a revolution because it is certainly far from it. Its a selfish war where too much blood has been shed.

Open your eyes people, nothing is going to change unless we change what is within ourselves.

Verily, Allah will not change the condition of the people, until they change what’s in themselves." (Ar-Ra’d 13:11)

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Success : Next Exit!

In a few weeks time I will be putting on the black robe and graduation cap to signify the end of 17 years of being in education or as many would say 'an end of an era'. Hence why I have not written for so long, post exam and dissertation stress took a while to wear off. A little longer than I should have.  But it has given me time to think about all those years that have passed. This time 3 years ago I was just finishing my a-levels and praying to God that I would pass and get into university; to move on to the the next step of my life. Initially it had not gone according to my own plans, but I have always believed that whatever happens, happens for a reason and that Allah is the best of all planners. And I could not tell you how true that is.

At the point of disappointment we forget that some things are just not meant to be and however much we push it, it will never work out. So when it comes to your destiny know that it is already been planned and its planned for you in a way that will best suit your situation and your life. In this case it did end up being the best thing that had ever happened to me and with no exaggeration it has been the best 3 years of my life. Many students experiences and memories revolve around the socializing and parties however, being Muslim, I did not engage in that aspect of university life and honestly I am certain I did not miss out much, and probably remember far more than others. The friends that were made, people that were met and knowledge that I have absorbed in these past 3 years, have truly been invaluable. It was a chance for me to start all over again and meet like-minded people and I really did. At times I would stay quiet and sit back whilst I listened to my friends speak about things that fascinated me; out of respect and just because it was impressive to hear them speak so passionately. Its true when they say you learn something new everywhere, be it about yourself or about the world - I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by highly intelligent and amazing people. These words seem too little to describe them and do not do them any justice but words are not always enough to express the truth.  I learnt a great deal from them which will be with me for the rest of my life. Words cannot and will not suffice in describing what I feel but, lucky will do for now.  It is true when they say the friends you make in university are those who stay with you forever, and I really see why now.

At the beginning of it all I had said to myself that by getting into university I would be one step closer to achieving my dreams. 3 years later and there is no doubt in saying that some things have got a little clearer however only at the cost of many other things which have actually become more obscure to me than when I started. A part of me wants to believe that I am closer to my dreams but in reality they are further away than I anticipated. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel like it is something bad, its simply another stepping stone to self realization. In those 3 years I have not only found myself , it has also opened my eyes to how things really work; and with a little hard work anything is possible. Okay more than a little, maybe a lot but now I understand patience truly is a virtue. Perfection is a gradual process, which takes time and it may have taken me 3 years to admit it but I still feel that, this in itself,  is an accomplishment.  

Ever since I was little there has always been a clear path, one of which I had not had much choice in as my education was the first and only driving force of it but now it isn't I am forced into this crossroad of choice. I and many of us spend a vast amount or even the majority of our life time in education and once it's over we are welcomed by this unknown abyss we like to call the real world.  Quite a daunting prospect, if you ask me. Although it has been a tough few years, I have always had an answer to the question of what next. And the fact that there has always been a clear start and end to it has been a somewhat comfort to me and the idea of being thrown into unfamiliar surroundings and genuinely not being able to answer that simple question is actually scary. But I guess it is a challenge and step we must all take and I personally look forward to.

So here goes nothing....

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Nakba: 65 years on...

Visit for more pictures 
Palestinian man carrying an ownership documents for his property .. Palestine Government in 1948 #Palestin4Palestians .

رجل فلسطيني ما زال يحتفظ بوثائق الملكية التابعة لحكومة فلسطين لممتلاكته التي هجر منها عام 1948

On the May 15 1948 the illegal state of Israel celebrates its independence whilst Palestinians around the world mourn for the loss of their land. On this very day Israel displaced and murdered some 700,000 Palestinians from their homeland. Where they forced the Palestinian people to flee to different neighboring countries where they became refugees living in inhumane and extremely poor conditions. Israeli soldiers also wiped nearly 500 Palestinian villages and towns off the map.

More than 7 million Palestinian refugees, uprooted from their homes and lands since the Palestinian Nakba, are still hoping to return to their homeland, and reject the notion of land swaps. Many of the Palestinian families who fled Palestine still hold keys to their homes after being forced to leave their lands and homes at gunpoint.

We will not forget. 65 years of resistance and 65 more if we need to.

Please watch the following video for further information: 

What is the Nakba 1948 War?

A short video talking about the Nakba war in 1948
(Turn on the captions for the english subtitles) 

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Ya Allah Ya Kareem.

Ya Allah Ya Kareem,

I write to you ya Allah with my heart and soul open to You and You only. You are where I find salvation , you are where my heart belongs. You cleanse my soul with your magnitude and endless love and mercy. I ask for forgiveness and your help in times of need and you never let me down. You never fail me or make me cry in pain but in happiness and comfort. You speak to me in so many ways to a point where everything reminds me of you. I see you in everything I do, say and hear. and when I repeat the words you so eloquently wrote to us, you speak to me... you speak to me like no other. Every verse, every line and every page you advise me on the most intimate and personal things in my life, you know the ins and outs of what I am going through. No family nor friend will ever know and understand me like you do. You have supported me since the first day. 

But ya Allah ya Kareem I fear that I do not show you enough, I do not show you how much you mean to me. I fear that at times I can be selfish and do not turn to you enough, even though you have said to me time and time again you will always be there for me. So please I pray for your forgiveness  I pray that you help me in my journey of becoming a better person, a better Muslim  I pray that you guide me onto the straight path so that one day I will meet you and thank you myself for blessing me with such a beautiful life, one, that at times, I take for granted. 

There are not enough words to describe the love I have for you and there are not enough words to describe how sorry I am in turning my back on you, at times. I have no excuse and that is why I shall not make any.  You are my savior and will always be. You are all I need and so much more.

You comfort me when no one else can,
You protect me when others can't see,
You guide me when I'm lost,
You have time for me when no one else does,
You speak to me and not at me,
You advise me and don't judge me,
That is why they call you the all mighty, all caring all knowing.
You are everything no human will ever be.
You are everything to me, my soul and I.
You are all I need for now and forever.

Ya Allah Ya Kareem
Forgive me.